QUICK NOTE: You absolutely MUST watch the two Red Green videos I just put on the blog. If you can for some reason only watch one then watch the one at the top, but both are amazing! Now onto the short but fun post.
OTHER NOTE: The two RED GREEN videos that I added to my blog last night were removed from You Tube today (go figure). Sorry you guys can't watch the greatest show ever, but I'll find something else cool to put in its place.
ANOTHER NOTE: I replaced the two videos with one that have not been removed yet, but they will probably be removed in a few days so watch them soon! As before, the more entertaining video is on top, though don't let that make you think the bottom one is by any means not entertaining. These are both comedy pieces of the HIGHEST quality!
THE POST
As if Shaun of The Dead wasn't good enough...
Kicking old ladies SOON...
THE RED GREEN SHOW - Cook Christmas Dinner WITH YOUR CAR!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
BLIND ALBINO PIRATE NINJAS!
I should get about a thousand extra hits thanks to that title. Anyway, to get over the !!!XTREAME!!!ly angsty post I did a little while ago, I've decided to make a very lighthearted post right now. It's an actual conversation Spencer and me had over aim just tonight. I found it so entertaining that I wanted it immortalized online. So without further ado, here's Spencer&Max's conversation about blind albino pirate ninjas..... or something along those lines. (If you can't figure who is who then you're retarded and don't deserve to know)
Transitfactor: Max!
megaredpen: Spencer!
megaredpen: i've got a bone to pick with you
megaredpen: well not really
megaredpen: but if i did...
Transitfactor: Why would you pick me with a bone?
megaredpen: it's a good backscratcher
Transitfactor: That's true
megaredpen: and always look both ways before crossing the street
Transitfactor: What?
megaredpen: MAX AND SPENCER IN: PRACTICAL PALS
Transitfactor: That's good
megaredpen: ANYWAY
megaredpen: we should start filming as soon as the weather gets nice enough that people will be willing to be outside ALL DAY
Transitfactor: That's what I thought
megaredpen: so like next month perhaps
Transitfactor: Good deal
megaredpen: it's a heckuva deal
megaredpen: i'm reading this chapstick label and it reads: WARNING, KEEP OUT OF EYES
megaredpen: who puts chapstick in their eyes?
Transitfactor: Don't belive it, the government puts it on there so you can't see the truth
megaredpen: the truth shown by the chapstick?
megaredpen: i must try this!
Transitfactor: .....
megaredpen: OH SWEET JESUS WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!!!!
Transitfactor: Hahaha!
megaredpen: specner you jerk......
megaredpen: oh cool my vision looks like the beginning of bond films where blood slowly drips down the screen
megaredpen: at least i'm not blind though
megaredpen: oh wait....
megaredpen: yep there it goes
megaredpen: i'm blind
megaredpen: good thing i know almena
Transitfactor: Don't worry, they make dogs that go into your eyes, granting you vision
megaredpen: oh cool
megaredpen: i know what you're saying because my computer screen has a brail setting
Transitfactor: MAX LOVES MEN
megaredpen: it feels like some jackass typed with the caps lock on.....
megaredpen: that's weird it feels like it says.....
megaredpen: HEY!
Transitfactor: You didn't deny it
megaredpen: just cause i'm blind doesn't mean I'm homosexual!
megaredpen: it means the exact opposite
megaredpen: i knew this kid in grade school, we were playing on the jungle gym, and this other kid threw a rock and hit the kid in the eye
megaredpen: the kid ended up losing his eye, and when he came back he was a flaming homsexual
megaredpen: but i met this bum who had no eyes, and he was straight as an arrow
megaredpen: so if you ever lose an eye, poke out the other one
megaredpen: that's all
Transitfactor: I see
megaredpen: well you don't have to rub it in, jerk!
Transitfactor: Don't worry, I'll get you two eye patches, you'll be a double pirate. Especially since you lost your legs, and your parents couldn't afford metal legs so they got you two peg legs.
megaredpen: that was nice of them
megaredpen: so does this make me a SUPER PIRATE?
megaredpen: or an EXTREAME PIRATE?
megaredpen: the e in extreame is silent though
Transitfactor: Yes, you'll be called Blindbeard, the Xtreme pirate
megaredpen: hell yes i will, and I'll go on crazy wild and sexy adventures
megaredpen: we can make a whole show about it
megaredpen: and i'll be trying to act cool
megaredpen: but i'm blind so i can't
Transitfactor: Cut out the sexy part and you have the deal
megaredpen: oh fine
megaredpen: no sexy
Transitfactor: No one likes gay pirates, just gay cowboys
megaredpen: i pretty sure that ninjas are gay too
megaredpen: i mean they're always "annointing" those "holy oils of the great chi" on eachother
Transitfactor: A gay ninja is just about as probable as an albino jackalope
megaredpen: so it's more common than not?
Transitfactor: No, it's unpossible
Transitfactor: Everyone knows the Jackalope is immune to ablinoness
megaredpen: but i see albino jackalopes all the time
megaredpen: or saw
Transitfactor: Why would you saw one?
megaredpen: cause i wanted to play a game with it
megaredpen: a game that was rated R for violence
megaredpen: and for pirates
Transitfactor: Makes sense to me
Transitfactor: I guess, well I gotta go Max\
Transitfactor: I'll see you in the morning
megaredpen: i'll see ya tomarrow
megaredpen: and i'm posting this conversation on blogspot
megaredpen: cause it's silly
Transitfactor: Good, oh wait before you do.
megaredpen: and retarded
megaredpen: what?
Transitfactor: I need a good parting shot
Transitfactor: Lemme think
megaredpen: how about "SEE you later"
megaredpen: and I'll go "ass"
megaredpen: cause i can't see
Transitfactor: Nah, what's that over there?
megaredpen: well i wouldn't know, what with the BLINDNESS!
Transitfactor: Oh yeah well this was going to make more sense but I might as well do it*Punches Max in the face*
Transitfactor: See you later sucker!
megaredpen: jerk!
So yeah, I'm blind now, but don't mention it to me cause I'm sensitive about it okay? OKAY? okay.
Transitfactor: Max!
megaredpen: Spencer!
megaredpen: i've got a bone to pick with you
megaredpen: well not really
megaredpen: but if i did...
Transitfactor: Why would you pick me with a bone?
megaredpen: it's a good backscratcher
Transitfactor: That's true
megaredpen: and always look both ways before crossing the street
Transitfactor: What?
megaredpen: MAX AND SPENCER IN: PRACTICAL PALS
Transitfactor: That's good
megaredpen: ANYWAY
megaredpen: we should start filming as soon as the weather gets nice enough that people will be willing to be outside ALL DAY
Transitfactor: That's what I thought
megaredpen: so like next month perhaps
Transitfactor: Good deal
megaredpen: it's a heckuva deal
megaredpen: i'm reading this chapstick label and it reads: WARNING, KEEP OUT OF EYES
megaredpen: who puts chapstick in their eyes?
Transitfactor: Don't belive it, the government puts it on there so you can't see the truth
megaredpen: the truth shown by the chapstick?
megaredpen: i must try this!
Transitfactor: .....
megaredpen: OH SWEET JESUS WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!!!!
Transitfactor: Hahaha!
megaredpen: specner you jerk......
megaredpen: oh cool my vision looks like the beginning of bond films where blood slowly drips down the screen
megaredpen: at least i'm not blind though
megaredpen: oh wait....
megaredpen: yep there it goes
megaredpen: i'm blind
megaredpen: good thing i know almena
Transitfactor: Don't worry, they make dogs that go into your eyes, granting you vision
megaredpen: oh cool
megaredpen: i know what you're saying because my computer screen has a brail setting
Transitfactor: MAX LOVES MEN
megaredpen: it feels like some jackass typed with the caps lock on.....
megaredpen: that's weird it feels like it says.....
megaredpen: HEY!
Transitfactor: You didn't deny it
megaredpen: just cause i'm blind doesn't mean I'm homosexual!
megaredpen: it means the exact opposite
megaredpen: i knew this kid in grade school, we were playing on the jungle gym, and this other kid threw a rock and hit the kid in the eye
megaredpen: the kid ended up losing his eye, and when he came back he was a flaming homsexual
megaredpen: but i met this bum who had no eyes, and he was straight as an arrow
megaredpen: so if you ever lose an eye, poke out the other one
megaredpen: that's all
Transitfactor: I see
megaredpen: well you don't have to rub it in, jerk!
Transitfactor: Don't worry, I'll get you two eye patches, you'll be a double pirate. Especially since you lost your legs, and your parents couldn't afford metal legs so they got you two peg legs.
megaredpen: that was nice of them
megaredpen: so does this make me a SUPER PIRATE?
megaredpen: or an EXTREAME PIRATE?
megaredpen: the e in extreame is silent though
Transitfactor: Yes, you'll be called Blindbeard, the Xtreme pirate
megaredpen: hell yes i will, and I'll go on crazy wild and sexy adventures
megaredpen: we can make a whole show about it
megaredpen: and i'll be trying to act cool
megaredpen: but i'm blind so i can't
Transitfactor: Cut out the sexy part and you have the deal
megaredpen: oh fine
megaredpen: no sexy
Transitfactor: No one likes gay pirates, just gay cowboys
megaredpen: i pretty sure that ninjas are gay too
megaredpen: i mean they're always "annointing" those "holy oils of the great chi" on eachother
Transitfactor: A gay ninja is just about as probable as an albino jackalope
megaredpen: so it's more common than not?
Transitfactor: No, it's unpossible
Transitfactor: Everyone knows the Jackalope is immune to ablinoness
megaredpen: but i see albino jackalopes all the time
megaredpen: or saw
Transitfactor: Why would you saw one?
megaredpen: cause i wanted to play a game with it
megaredpen: a game that was rated R for violence
megaredpen: and for pirates
Transitfactor: Makes sense to me
Transitfactor: I guess, well I gotta go Max\
Transitfactor: I'll see you in the morning
megaredpen: i'll see ya tomarrow
megaredpen: and i'm posting this conversation on blogspot
megaredpen: cause it's silly
Transitfactor: Good, oh wait before you do.
megaredpen: and retarded
megaredpen: what?
Transitfactor: I need a good parting shot
Transitfactor: Lemme think
megaredpen: how about "SEE you later"
megaredpen: and I'll go "ass"
megaredpen: cause i can't see
Transitfactor: Nah, what's that over there?
megaredpen: well i wouldn't know, what with the BLINDNESS!
Transitfactor: Oh yeah well this was going to make more sense but I might as well do it*Punches Max in the face*
Transitfactor: See you later sucker!
megaredpen: jerk!
So yeah, I'm blind now, but don't mention it to me cause I'm sensitive about it okay? OKAY? okay.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Walking Through Fire and Flames
So apparently my blog is popular or something and few people would like me to update, whatever. I'm not in an updatey mood though, and if I learned anything at all from The Catcher in The Rye it's that if you're not in the mood to do something, you might as well not do it at all.... and yet here I am doing it...
The thing is... I want to talk, I really do... but the only things that I want to talk about... seem like they have to be talked about behind closed doors. Subjects which reign over my thoughts with such domanance that their importance cannot be considered unfounded... so why do I not talk about these subjects which plague my conscious so constantly? God only knows that I've had every chance in the world to seek counsil with others, and yet I cannot bring myself to do it. Is it because the subject is sooo new to me? Is it because in a way I have already asked all of these questions before? It can't be because I don't want it enough, so it must be that I already know the answers to all of my questions. I already know the answers, the results, and I know that even if I got an aswer that I liked... I would regret the consequences of it...
I hate argueing with myself about what I want to do and what I should do. I hate having a sense of right and wrong, and following that sense. I hate wanting to do what I want to do, and then doing what is the right thing to do. I hate my desire to bring joy into the lives of others rather than into mine own life. I hate making people laugh just because I can, not because I want to. I hate having the one's that I love and care about the most, doubt that I love them at all. I hate wanting that which others have. I hate not being able to let go. I hate that I think cruel thoughts about perfectly nice people. I hate that I smile to myself when I see someone else get hurt. I hate that I hate things. I hate that I refuse to forgive so many people for so many things. I hate that feeling happy for others and not for myself. I hate being selfish. I hate seeing the one's that I care about suffer, and I hate not being able to help them. I hate that in order to help them, I have to suffer a little bit as well. I hate faaaaaaaaaaaaar too much...
I love...... more than I have ever before...... but it doesn't seem to be helping....
.... not at all....
Max
The thing is... I want to talk, I really do... but the only things that I want to talk about... seem like they have to be talked about behind closed doors. Subjects which reign over my thoughts with such domanance that their importance cannot be considered unfounded... so why do I not talk about these subjects which plague my conscious so constantly? God only knows that I've had every chance in the world to seek counsil with others, and yet I cannot bring myself to do it. Is it because the subject is sooo new to me? Is it because in a way I have already asked all of these questions before? It can't be because I don't want it enough, so it must be that I already know the answers to all of my questions. I already know the answers, the results, and I know that even if I got an aswer that I liked... I would regret the consequences of it...
I hate argueing with myself about what I want to do and what I should do. I hate having a sense of right and wrong, and following that sense. I hate wanting to do what I want to do, and then doing what is the right thing to do. I hate my desire to bring joy into the lives of others rather than into mine own life. I hate making people laugh just because I can, not because I want to. I hate having the one's that I love and care about the most, doubt that I love them at all. I hate wanting that which others have. I hate not being able to let go. I hate that I think cruel thoughts about perfectly nice people. I hate that I smile to myself when I see someone else get hurt. I hate that I hate things. I hate that I refuse to forgive so many people for so many things. I hate that feeling happy for others and not for myself. I hate being selfish. I hate seeing the one's that I care about suffer, and I hate not being able to help them. I hate that in order to help them, I have to suffer a little bit as well. I hate faaaaaaaaaaaaar too much...
I love...... more than I have ever before...... but it doesn't seem to be helping....
.... not at all....
Max
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